I totally forgot I had requested tickets to see a taping of The Chew, but I wasn't mad when I received my email confirmation for a day in the city since I had not been ALL MARCH. And YES I was itching to go back.

The day before we were scheduled to go, Boston happened - and I knew we would be under a heightened security alert. This made me fearful. Thankfully, I have great friends, Jeannette and Drea, who can always put me in my place quickly...we cannot stop living because of other people's despicable actions towards humanity. Even though I had a heavy heart for lives lost and those injured, I continued to prepare for a day in the city.

My scheduled alarm went off without a hitch, and I was at the train station in time

This is the first time it was a chore getting to NYC and it wasn't because buses were being stopped. First, our bus was 30 minutes late. Then, there was traffic to get on the Ben Franklin Bridge, so we had to go all around the world. And please do not stutter some disdain with what was going on because the bus driver was more than happy to let you know what was going on in a manner that would shut you up quickly. AND we got the same bus driver on the way back.

Ummmmm I think we were a tad bit fed up with the delays and I had NOT had my coffee

Can you guess what drink belongs to whom?!

I must say, it is more convenient to visit the Cake Boss Cafe than their Hoboken location - no long waits

I realized something today - if I was married or in a relationship where I lived with someone I would be in trouble. You may be wondering why...let me explain.

Here is my routine when waking up: either my alarm goes off or I start hearing alerts and I realize I must grab my phone after I hit snooze a few times or try to ignore the sounds emitting. This is before I even pull my head from under the covers - yes, the only thing exposed while I sleep is my nose, don't ask me why, I have no idea, that's just how it has to be. I then check instagram, texts, respond to texts, twitter, and if time permits I may head to facebook for a quick browse. Before I get out of bed (if I have to go to work) breakfast club is streaming from my phone. If the stream is not working correctly, you all know what I am listening to. *chuckling* I have it timed perfectly where I can get ready in less than 20 minutes ready to face my day. And if I don't have to work, I turn on the tv to Good Morning America or Good Day and then I am tuned into Live with Kelly and Michael at 9am with a smoothie in hand.

The key to all this is silence. I love complete silence while I prepare for my day especially when I have not had sufficient sleep. BUT sometimes, I can hold a conversation only if it is interesting to me. I am quite selfish in the am - that is my time. Allow me to have it along with my addiction phone - and there lies the problem.

If you interrupt my routine in any way, this puts me in a bad mood. I remember a time when I was ready to rip my brother's head off because he was in the bathroom at my regular time. WHY would he think it was ok to use the bathroom AT MY TIME?!

If I lived with someone, I would be expected to engage, huh?! Even if we discussed our plans for the day the night before, it would be considered the courteous thing to do I suppose. This previously grated my nerves. I just could not understand why he would always talk to me in the am when he knew my stance. We had a million more hours to talk in the day - give me my peace. I started waking up earlier just so I could have my silence. I suppose I would have to do this to adjust especially after I have children - Price respects my silence. He waits patiently while I check my phone, hands me my glass of water, and he watches Mickey Mouse - he will definitely have to show the newbies the ropes.

Ahhhhh!!! Perfection

*Disclaimer* This post may seem a tad bit contradictory, but allow me to explain...

Every woman loves to know her man thinks she is beautiful. We love compliments (and ladies, your man likes to hear you think he is attractive as well) - but as much as I love having my ego fed, I would love it even more if my man would also acknowledge my internal beauty - the essence of what makes me who I am.

 I have only had 5 boyfriends - and out of these 5 boys and men (since my relationships began when I was 14 - no digs at the men I was with at the time by calling them boys) only 1 man spoke on things like my kind heart, gracious attitude, pleasant disposition, and nurturing spirit.

Every other man focused on my looks and how I dressed - ALL THE TIME. I offered to cook for 1 of these men and he made the comment I am too cute to even know what to do in the kitchen. WHAT!!!! How insulting! I never offered to cook for him again and we simply ate out all the time when we were together - I didn't even feel the need to discredit his small minded theory.

My exes would want to take me around their friends and "parade" me constatnly - I get being proud of your woman, but I felt like they were proving something to their friends getting some sort of social status for "pulling me"or maybe even their friend's approval. There was no need for them to want me to join them when they hung out with their friends especially when everybody else left their women at home. Most times these men would get offended when I declined their invitations like I was their accessory they could not leave home without. (My friends and mother have even taken notice to this because this has even trickled down to the men I just dated and never committed to as well.)

This has left me wondering am I that shallow and focused on a man's looks that this is what I attract and I have decided NO, that is not the case because I have definitely dated men who weren't that attractive and I didn't particularly care for their style thinking they would treat me better than the "pretty" guys I typically fell for, but you know what?! Those men seemed to be even cockier and I always wondered where did the confidence come from - how could they really believe they were attractive or was this extra confidence their insecurities on full display?! But I will digress...

As a result of these experiences, I know without a doubt I cannot settle for a man who is so fixated on my appearance that they do not take the time to get to know the real me. Beauty is only skip deep and what I will value more in my next relationship are the man's morals, personality, his ability to have engaging/ thought provoking conversations, and us laughing...together. It is these things that will see us through trying times - NOT how attracted we are to each other.

Let's admit it - first dates are pretty awkward - as a woman first things first, what to wear?! Depending on what we are doing, I always go back and forth between heels, wedges, or gladiators - I don't want to appear standoffish by my appearance - and I do want to give the impression I am willing to let my hair down and have some fun and let's be real if I am wearing 5 inch heels, we definitely won't be running around having a lot of fun (cause damage to my shoes?!?! yeah right!). I have learned if I opt for heels, I always have a pair of flats on standby in case our plans change or vice versa - sticking with my Girl Scouts motto "always be prepared".

Now comes the debate: what to do! Personally, I do NOT like going to the movies or dinner for a first date - in the movies, we cannot engage in conversation and dinner is TOO long of a commitment of my time upfront. I am still unsure of our chemistry and I don't want to have to sit through an awkward dinner impatiently waiting for the date to be over if I do not like you. I also appreciate when the man offers suggestions or decides what we are doing - I make enough decisions on a daily basis, I enjoy when all I have to do is get dressed and meet you at our destination of choice. That's another thing - I always drive myself to first dates. No need in someone knowing where you live if their first will also become their last date, right?!

I've also been told when on a date I am to treat my phone like I am on a interview (by Shana of course) - in my bag, untouched, and on silent. *screaming* I am almost always touching my phone in some capacity - this is hard, but I can do it - especially if I am captivated by my company. Entertain me fellas! I kid, I kid...general rule of thumb guys, if while you are trying to interact with me I am fully engaged on my phone - I AM NOT INTERESTED!!! I am well aware it is rude and at this point, I don't care and I am plotting my escape, expeditiously in fact.

Let's talk about the bad - months ago this guy text me to ask me on a date the following week (first mistake, he should have called to ask me out) - I gave him my availability and he told me he would let me know what day worked best for him - he never followed up so we didn't go out. *shrugs* I didn't really care either way - last week he text me and said I always stood him up (one time he suggested I meet him at the Chester casinos so he can chaperone his niece on a date - I declined - in my book that is NOT standing someone up) - I politely screen shot our last convo (oh how I love iphones), sent it to him, and told him he never contacted me in regards to the date which translated to me he wasn't too interested in going. He replies, I should have contacted him again, if he never got back to me. Excuse me sir, NO, that would have NEVER happened, I am not chasing you for a date you inquired about and NO, your Bentley does not impress me - I basically told you what days were good for me, if taking me on a date was a priority to you, then you would have let me know when you wanted to go.  End of story. He wanted to go back and forth in regards to it - there was no need - he won't be going on a date with me. EVER.

Now let's mix some good in with the bad. I experienced the perfect first date this summer. Unbeknownst to the man, he suggested we go to one of my fave local places - Bredenbeck's (but not the bakery, we went to the ice cream parlor next door). We then walked to Jenks and sat there, talked for a bit while eating ice cream. What made this date perfect??? I was comfortable the entire time - the guy wasn't pretentious, had a sense of humor, and made me laugh. Laughing is always a great thing in my book. He made the date location convenient to me since it is literally less than 10 minutes driving from my house. Also, he was a gentleman - he walked on the outside of me when we walked down the street and although our cars were parked near each other, he still walked me to my car and made sure I got in before going to his own. See?! It's the little things that impress me the most and this means chivalry is NOT dead. He could definitely get another date.

Have you ever experienced the perfect first date? What did you do?  

Amber suggested to me a few months ago I start a new blog series Single in the City - where I would discuss the details of dates I went on. Now I am a private person in that aspect and I am sure the men I dated would not want to become blog topics, however, I decided to inadvertently still do it - I may not go into detail about the men or the dates to remain respectful...but I will discuss different elements I encounter and how it made me feel or how I reacted. I am sure I will find friends to contribute as well - hopefully, we will all learn something and the one thing I am hoping to discover is romance is still alive and chivalry is not dead.

Get ready ladies, I am sure this will be a crazy journey!

First topic: texting vs. calling

In this day and age with smart phones and social media, it is so easy (and convenient) to just send someone a text to make contact. Shana yells at me all the time - she seems to think I text too much and need to learn how to pick up the phone more. She says it is too impersonal.

I am all for texting, more than likely while I am texting you I am doing a million other things and I do not have to give you all of my attention at the time. However, I do enjoy talking on the phone to guys I am interested in - especially if he has a dreamy voice (yes, I have a thing for a man's voice).

I say whatever is easier at the current time - sometimes your hands are busy and picking up the phone makes more sense to relay your message quickly (or sometimes you just want to talk - so pick up the darn phone), but if you don't want anything in particular and just want to let the person know you were thinking of them, a succinct text or email will suffice (in my world). A "good morning" text always makes me smile - even a "how was your day" - makes me feel you are taking interest in me and let's me know I was on your mind. And I like that.

I feel like I haven't blogged in forever - well I haven't - life has gotten away from me - so many things going on that need a resolution, a mini vacay with my mom which was just what I needed (loving my tan) and then the unthinkable happened - my laptop broke - I just shipped it off yesterday for repair, so I pulled out my old broken one to sit here and blog (yes Jeannette, I have a spare - you didn't want me moving in with you for 10 business days so we could share yours, now did you?! LOL).

Waking up and noticing remnants of last night's lipstick still stained on my lips means I had a great night, huh?! I went to a jazz night in Northern Liberties with Rands - it was great catching up with an old college friend. You know life after she had precious twin baby girls! I cannot believe they are 1 already! Sheesh! Time flies! It was like the good old college days - you know when you are starving after drinking all night and stopping at Wendy's drive thru to grab something (anything) to eat to feed the liquor. Oh the memories!

Anyways, let's rewind and get focused on the point of this blog - MY complexities with dating - which I encountered last night. Before I went out I talked to Jeannette and we realized another issue we have - this whole casual dating thing is just not for us. The truth of the matter is if I am not interested in you then NO I don't want to get to know you - I don't want to go out - I don't want to entertain your company...all for the sake of "having fun" - this type of fun (weeding through the dating pool and ultimately wasting my time) makes me think I would rather enjoy someone poking me in my eye with a sharp pencil point to put me out of my misery. QUICKLY!

Imagine my disdain last night as this guy kept coming back to talk to me all the while having an earring in his lip - I wanted to just rip it out - like WHY did he have that...further more when he asked me where I was from and I reply Mt. Airy and his response was oh, so you live in the row homes...WHATTTTTTT! I guess he would be surprised, huh?! (Let me not forget to mention he was from WEST PHILLY, but to him Mt. Airy equates to row homes?!?!) The things that come out of men's mouths nowadays - and he was kind of shocked I did not want to exchange numbers, yet he still invited me to an event he will dj on Thursday night - excuse me sir, no thank you, but it's time for me to leave and go to my row home so I can go to sleep. You go home to your 3 kids. Have a nice night. 

The truth of the matter is if I want to have fun, I want to genuinely have a good time and enjoy the company I am with. Is that too much to ask for??? And if I casual date and the guy begins to like me and I know I have no interest, then eventually his feelings will be hurt - and that's no fun. I know upon my first interaction with someone if I am attracted to them or if I can conjure up something developing between the two of us - never has my mind been changed or my opinion swayed from my initial reaction to a man - but yet I am told I must continue to "play the game" until I find a partner. *silently screaminggggggggggggg* What's a woman to do?!